i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
