I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize