yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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