Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
