No awkward lesbian experiences without me
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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