would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
