the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize