Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I think people are normalizing furries
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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