worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
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I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
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It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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