She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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