I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
