he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Do you remember whose house we're in?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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