it hurts more in the daytime
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
