I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
