did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
