is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
