ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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