You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
