ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
