The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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