Already got asked if we're dating
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
