Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
