He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
