The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Sober January is a disaster.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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