ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
