the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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