Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He passed out mid-signature
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
