Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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