did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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