normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
