So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
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i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
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Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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