Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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