Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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