there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
