she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
