Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
