i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
