Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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