I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
