JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize