Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
