you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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