First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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