Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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