What a fucking waste of an outfit
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
My vagina just recognized that song.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
