just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
