ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
