She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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