So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
