I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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