well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
