Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
