I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
