are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
