She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
