Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Randomize
