sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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