i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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