he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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