Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
