Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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