I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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