But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I will pee on everything he values.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
