We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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