He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
