I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
