why didn't you poke me back
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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